Almost a Virgin


When I was born, he was the happiest one in that room, smiled from chin to chin even more that my mom who delivered Me like a package ordered from a grocery store
When I was one, he sang me lullaby to enforce sleep on my eyelids, his voice sounded like when the birds chirp
When I was two, he used to take me to school to get equipped with tools to fix life’s puzzle just like he’d do too
When I was three, he tickled my ear drum with sweet words, I couldn’t detect the lies cause they sounded nice
When I was four, he got me basking in an euphoria of empty nothing, top notching my factory setting till he installed the lies that made me drown in a cascade of illusion that he loves me more than my mom did, so I became attached to him, and like shadows I never left him even in the dark, his eyes lighted my path
When I was five, he would take me out deep in the night, asking me to look up to the skies and make a wish to the stars and I’d say “I WISH TO NEVER LEAVE YOU, DAD”….I wish I had warning signs to know my wish was a death sentence
I finally grew from five to six, seven, eight, nine, ten
I was ten when he made known his in”ten”tion to me
Ten…….was when he took my innocence and left me guilt bound
Ten….was when the word LOVE confused me cause I felt the dictionary got it wrong
Ten…. was when I had a taste of betrayal, now my emotions sour
I was ten, when he crept into my room and had me taste of the forbidden fruit
Saying he’d love me to know how good evil feels
He took me through the valley of the shadows of death as he loosened his belt
He washed me weep….I couldn’t loose his grip on me
I tried shouting but couldn’t hear myself cause the sound of hate already made stitches around my ear
He held my chest that was yet to bear breast
It was time to harvest all he had invested
Slowly he thrust in and out as my trust fizzled out
I bled nonstop, I thought he’d see my tears and stop
He broke my hymen, and like the last super he had a bite of his lustful desires
He ruled over my body for four years, now his tenor is over
But his seed now lives in me, and I feel dead to myself
How do I tell my daughter that her father is mine too
I still can’t stomach how love and hate can mix and be this complimentary
Now I’m numb to how I feel
Now I’m a victim of scrotum under pressure
All because my dad’s erection , like G.P.S gave him direction
Time heals, but I doubt it can glue my broken heart
I’m almost a virgin, till one with same bloodline as I changed the storyline

peace dah’ wordsmith

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